I MISS OLD GAMES

I miss old games. (as the fucking title implies)


They were better (mostly) and I'll explain why.



They were fucking BETTER. Not so much in terms of graphics or realism (fucking stupid) but in the fact that all games back in the day HAD to be story driven. You NEEDED to be INVOLVED in that fucking shit to get your head around it. Need to find a shovel in a zombie infested graveyard with nothing but good looks and the moonlight to see by? NOT a fucking problem because you knew for a god damn fact that shovel had a POINT. It was so necessary your own parents mattered less. You didn't know why (at this point) and you didn't fucking care, you needed it, and you were going to get it.

7 HOURS LATER

You come to the house of the old family of (who fucking cares), "please find the body of our beloved brother and lay him to rest"...

BOO-FUCKING-GOD-DAMN-YA CUNT!!

*you use shovel*
*nothing happens*


...... fuck.


THAT is why I love old school games. They make you so fucking infuriated that you HATE them. And so, you think about it at work or school, ALL day. You think about it because it makes you seethe with hatred, and you go over every single fucking god damn step you took up to that point, scrutinising every single inch detail.. until it hits you. Some old lady right at the start said "take this with you" but you didn't actually pick it up. Well FUCK balls. Time to back track. And as you back track through the levels, your hate slowly dissipates as you return through area's you once though difficult, and laugh at how easily they are solved now, you start to develop a feeling of superiority over the game till you finally get back to where you needed that thing and..

*use item*
*door opens*

FUCKING FUCK THE FUCKING HELL FUCKING YEAH!

*Unknown Creature kills you*

......     .... .. .. .......

It's at this point you become so fucking angry you could climb a clock tower. You are a blinding ball of furious hatred. But you WANT to keep playing, you feel COMPELLED to continue. This game will NOT get the best of me, not a fucking CHANCE!!! And it is with that feeling that you spend the next several days struggling over and over and over again until you sit there with a pen and paper and WRITE OUT exactly what goes on and when/how, so you can learn how to defeat it. None of this 'look it up on the internet' shit. You have to do this on your own. And I would happily bet that anyone who thinks "Gears of Failure War" is a 'hard' or 'challenging' game, never played Super Probotector 3 (Super Contra 3 for you useless fucking amerifags) on hard..

I only ever play a game on its hardest setting immediately, only because these days its the best challenge I can get. Back in the day there were NO difficulty settings, because the only difficulty was FUCK YOU!

Granted, there are a few (SERIOUSLY FUCKING FEW) 'new' games that are 'actually' hard on their hardest setting. To name a few;

Painkiller(One of my top rated games of all time)
Super Meat Boy(Only because of its superb use of old school gameplay[i.e. I fucking hate it so I love it])
Clive Barkers Undying(fucking WICKED mad game, play it cause its crazy good story will make you cry and shit bricks for days)
Devil May Cry (yes you failure's, I have 100% triple S on 3 AND 4, Heaven and Hell and even Hell and Hell)
Max Payne (Again, story driven awesome.. seeing a fucking pattern?)
F.E.A.R. (Story driven epic game play.. need I continue?)


I cant even go on because trying to think of all the games that were GOOD is only making me remember the fucking shit ass one's and that makes me want to set school's on fire.


Go play something like The Legend of Zelda: A Link To The Past. And then try and tell me modern gaming holds a candle to it.


"Oh noes, random underground people of who cares where or fucking why have taken over the whole planet, and we have to now rely on a man who despite having been in PRISON on a DESOLATE WASTELAND of a planet, still looks like a walking refrigerator holding a gun, with superhuman regenerative abilities (that all men seem to possess) and to be able to shrug off most incoming BULLETS, to save us, all despite his hatred for command and military rank (which he suddenly also shrugs off just so we can have an 8 hour game of muscly men shooting things and saying bad ass phrases), then acting like it was nothing because it makes him look more like a bad-ass that way.."

I fucking hate what games have become. I really have started looking in the indie section in the hopes I find a single fucking gem that I can someday hopefully share with the masses and help them climb out of the festering hole of stupidity and moronicism (its a word, look it up) that has become the modern game scene.

Also, I don't count sports games. If you want to play it, go play it, don't pretend to be someone else or even a whole team, its just fucking sad. Has ANYONE ever actually picked up a chick by saying "yeah, I beat madden 2011 on my first try"...?

FUCKING NO.

Go die in a fire.

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Pride is not the opposite of shame, but it's source. True humility is the antidote to shame.~ Uncle Iro.

Warfighter Promo Night at EA's Dungeon Headquarters Sydney.

So Its overdue. I dont give a fuck.

THE GAME

Start --> 10 Points

Its good. I won't say its 'great' because it's still in alpha, but it's still worth playing thus far. It's seemingly most notable and intriguing system is the Buddy 'FireTeam' system. A system loosely named after actual fireteams that have 'more' than 2 members(-1), but they are game designers and not military tacticians, so I digress. The fundamental gameplay is as you would expect from a modern FPS, the lights are bright, the foliage is easy to hide behind, and the graphics are so sharp it's obviously NOT real life(-1). You can jump, crouch, prone, strafe, turn and die with relative ease, and having all your mapped keys in the right place (the RIGHT HAND ZONE) is very intuitive, and frankly something you don't see enough of these days(+2). You actually have 'health' in this game, and while that is usually an automatic +5 to my rating system, it's negated by the fact that it regenerates so quickly that you might as well have 8v8 where everyone chose Wolverine as thier player(-3 [not -5 as per usual, just for including health bars])..The 'classes' system is also quite nice, giving each squad member a more specific duty, and forcing you to perform it, or watch the while team bitch at you for sucking. However, the classes are are generally the same thing, with a few minor modifications. You either do slightly more damage, move a little faster, take less damage, or get more support. It feels a little more like they are just a gimmick, as opposed to actually making players choose wisely depending on what the team needs. It becomes more about focus fire and less about tactics in the end(-5). It ends up being a win/lose system, in some cases it works great with a diverse team who can follow orders and work well together. It's also a flawed, terrible, horrible idea because inevitably groups will form that ALL choose the same class, cant work together and hate each other for losing when nobody else captured the objecting while I was off winning the fucking war by number alone you damn fools..
While I do really like the look of the game, that's also one of its major drawbacks. They put it on the failboat Frostbite 2 engine(-4). Its 'pretty'.. and that's all. It looks good, it runs smoothly, but honestly, the FB2 engine is just no good for mechanics, its why BF3 didnt do as well against MW3, and I also just hate it because it isn't the mother of all current engines (Havok2). The game is also totally unoriginal(-5). Not far back was a game called "Wolfenstein - Enemy Territory" which was the exact same game. There we're 'classes' too, although W:ET did it far better with classes being very 'specific' with certain map objectives only achievable by certain classes, forcing a team to work together or lose, not simply to shoot their way to victory as in MoH:WF. Also, MORE FUCKING ANANOGRAMAMS!

CoD[1/2/3/WaW]:MW(1/2/3) MoH:(AA/RS/PA/EA/WF) GoW(1/2/3) {{not to be confused with the other title, GoW(1/2/3)}} BF[1942]-[2142{NS}]-[BC{1/2}](1/2/3)

IS ANYONE ELSE FUCKING TIRED OF THIS?!

It's a shameful time when they spew out these damn copies of no discernible difference in the multitudes when the TRULY awe-inspiring and stroke of genius games get swept under the rug with little to no attention after a few months, despite STILL being better games to this day (FEAR 1/3, Painkiller, BulletStorm, Crysis 1/2, Commander Keen ect.)
Where was I? Oh right.

-5.

The game is still in it's alpha so (sadly) I wont be tearing apart the nitty gritty mechanics. Yes I had a CTD, yes I got stuck in the floor trying to melee someone, yes there were a few invisible walls we tried to climb (and failed). But while these would be massive point losses for any new release, its still in ALPHA. Not even a Beta yet, so it's quirks are more endearing than actually annoying. (+2). All in all, it was fun to play for a few hours, I mean, murdering people always is, but while I generally lose interest in games that suck, this one held me for the time I played it(+2). I think in future with good strategy, the buddy FireTeam system will be a very powerful and fun tool in the hands of the player.(+1)

End -->  [ -7 / 10 ]

Not bad, I was expecting much worse, around the -15 to -20 mark, but it did considerably well.

THE EVENT

Start --> 10 Points
The event itself was actually well put together, the computers were all set up and ready to go and the room was decorated in the right theme(+1). However right off the bat there were an 'unknown' number of guests appearing, so the hosts themselves were alternatively missing for the first part of the night, waiting for people to arrive(-2). The night kicked off well enough, with an awesome intro video from the game dev's. Which was directly followed by a warning of 'dont all pick this class because its overpowered', which immediately, everyone will pick, and also ruined some of the 'trial and error' that goes into playing a game for the first time, which is part of the fun, now denied(-2). There was some amusing fiddling about between the demo movie and the CD player for the changing of audio to music, but the music chosen was perfect for the atmosphere(+1). The area chosen however was somewhat small compared to the amount of people who showed up, so we have a small, dark, cramped room without enough seating,  filled with sweaty gamer men, and nothing but violence for entertainment..(-2). There was a well thought out resource of refreshment in the way of beer, which was also well chosen(+1). Two kinds of beer, both easily enjoyable and generally popular, went down well with the feel of the room. After the first game, one or two people swapped out for new players, but the result was the same. The Red team winning the second round aswell, some idiot picked up the brilliant idea of "Winner Plays On". This moron obviously was never the last kid picked for sport at school, and for simply allowing it to continue I have to say -3. (Hint: Rotate "ALL" the players, so the lesser-skilled players get a chance to pair up with the higher-skilled players to see what its like to win and have a really good support player with you, not just get your ass handed to you repeatedly. It makes you loathe a game, despite how fun it is)

Another noteworthy problem I discovered was that, in a game where the FOCUS was about TEAMWORK between players (even in pairs), the gaming headsets we had did NOT have a mic on them. You either had sound and no intel from your buddy FireTeam partner, or you could hear him, and have NO sound (headphones off).This is an oversight that I thought was huge. It was the FIRST thing I noticed before I even sat down to play. "Play a team based game that requires co-ordination and tactics, and a close communication between you and your buddy FireTeam Partner.. just don't speak to each other".

sigh.

-3

Not too long after the beer came out, so did the food. And I say this very rarely, but they ordered just the right amount of food. Everyone was fed and nobody complained about not having enough. As hosts, they definitely prepared well for the reception of guests. Of course, after playing a few rounds, we all wanted to interact, so most of us got up and wandered about, talking to others of what we did/did not like, the graphics, and even at one point, G.I. Joe. Our hosts were surprisingly active during this time, happy to answer questions, get involved with the people and really just converse on a gamer level. In a company as big as EA (that I have personal issue with myself for ignoring fans and being money-hungry ass-hats), Jiggsy and Pidgeo really stepped up, and we got to see how they are in fact, genuinely involved in the community. Christ now I sound like a kiss-ass. +3.

End -- >  [ 4 / 10 ]

Jiggsy and Pidgeo put on a really good night, as they always do. I'm also noticing an odd trend with those two.. most events I go to are in the -4 to -8 range, but the last two EA events I went to diddn't break 0.. Meh, give it time and we'll see.
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We are, right now at this very moment, living the dream of a man who taught us more than we deserved, and asked nothing in return but that we all act together as one to better the world in which he loved so dearly.  <3 Carl Sagan.